It's Just Like Starting Over

So many times I have attempted to start back with my Blog.  Truth is so much has happen in the past dozen years, I always struggle with how to pick up and start writing again.

Last week, my best friend of over 50 years, died. She has been sick, but we really aren't quite prepared for the ending are we?  I have gone through hundreds, possible thousands of photos pulling out Sheri photos for a video.  I had 442... but not even completed my resources. How do we know which ones are the ones that friends and family are hoping to see?  Her smile, her class, and her enormous personality.  The church lady I was to provide these too, needed me to thin it out considerably.  I did my best.  Got it down to 100.  And I provided her with a list of songs / artist that Sheri loved and needed to be played with it.

I also have been reading nonstop my friend Sheri's Blogs since she passed.  She was an excellent writer.  Witty, charming, and knew how to keep someone interested in her stories.  She started her Blog, "Living With The Oldies," back in 2007.  When her in-laws became housemates to her home.  It was a fun read.  Always full of the unexpected, and always left us with a smile.

During this time, I was dealing with a lot of depression issues and through Sheri and my therapist encouragement, I too started a blog back in June of 2007.  My blog, "Just Breathe Janis," continued until my Mother's passing in 2012.  I found not only had I lost my voice but I wasn't making time to continue to write.  I wrote an additional 20 post between then and now. Changed the name to "Just Breathe Janis, Chapter 60," following my 60th birthday.

I am struggling again.  Not just with depression, but growing old and just life in general.  The difference this time about writing... I am going to stick with it.  I don't care if I have to start over.  I am not afraid now.  I think I have been inspired to write again.  If not for myself, for Sheri.  For she gave me the courage to use my voice.  And that is what I am going to do.

So, welcome to my blog.  I am not a fabulous writer, but maybe I can make you smile.  Feel you are not alone.  And maybe, just maybe, I can feel the love of writing again.

xo

Chapter 60 (plus 252 days)

  

It’s been so long since I was a devoted Blog writer. I miss writing. I feel a piece of me has been missing since I stopped. But things happen, and well, I needed to stop when I did. Starting back up has been more difficult than I intended. I thought I could & would just start typing my thoughts back out as I once did. Do I play catch up? Or do I start from present? Do I go to Just Breathe Janis, & just go? I stumble. I fall. I fail.

So today, I decided to start over. A second time. Same intention but a new format. A new beginning. A fresh start. So here we are. Just Breathe Janis Chapter 60. Seems to be fitting since I’ve turned 60 this year. So much has changed since Just Breathe Janis. And I’ll catch up slowly. I’m hoping some of my old followers will find me. And we can rekindle connections.

Life. What a roller coaster. Highs and lows. Twist and turns. We never really know what is to come. We have ideas, we have dreams, and we have hope. For me, I have all the above. But, it took me to learn to trust my journey and not fret so much when it goes differently than planned. I’ve had some beautiful blessings hidden amongst the sadness. 

I’m in a good place. It is well with my soul. I’m happy. I’m healthy. I’m fortunate. I’m blessed. My life is far from perfect. It’s very scattered. But I’m more confident and at peace with this life handed to me. 

I’ve discovered balance is certainly in place in my life. Life use to be unbalanced. But I now understand how to see more. I’ve opened up & realize there is this center. And I will look for the good that comes from something not so wonderful.

xoxo

Advice for 2019

My teeny tiny advice for 2019...

~be kind

~be brave

~be good

~be noble

~be humble

~be smart

~be honest

~be helpful 

~be yourself

The Candy Dish

When I was in High School, my best friend lived around the corner. I loved going to her house.  She was an only child, and that itself was fascinating to me. She didn't have to share a room, clothes, stuff... She had privacy, but yet she also always had her parents watching over her. Her parents were wonderful.

Our neighborhood, kind of had this unwritten rule, where all of the parents helped raising us... and discipline us. We were just as scared of them catching us be naughty as our own parents. I feel that I was very blessed in that we did have that kind of a neighborhood. I always felt that every one of the adults looked out for us, contributed to our growth and gave us an extra bit of love. I felt that if I needed something, rather it be a glass of water, or a bit of advice I got it from a number of these dear neighbors.

I guess, in a lot of ways, my parents were the cool parents. They were always the delightful parents.  From being headquarters of the neighborhood water fight, to just a fun place to hang out.  They also allowed kids to smoke at there house (my sister smoked & my parents rather her do it at home than in the streets sneaking..)so that also contributed to some hanging out there. My parents always had food to share with the neighborhood kids.  And always welcomed everyone.  My parents were there to listen and lend a helping hand.

Some of the neighbor kids, had the parents that were never home, and that was often a "fun" place to hand out. Some always had something to teach us.  And some were there to give us their valued opinions and advice.  Some were just there for us, and we felt safe.

When I think back, my best friend, she had the strict parents. Few were allowed to be there when a parent wasn't home (I did earn that trust with them).  Her parents, always had to know who, when, where, and why. It always annoyed my friend.  Especially, because I was chatty and often told too much to the parents. Her Dad was about the kindest and most handsome of the parents. While her Mom, I always thought she was Liz Taylor beauty mixed with just the smartest of all our parents... but also not here to be our friend rather than a parent. In which I later found myself following suit as I raised my daughters. Her Mom... definitely gets the blue ribbon in being a great Mom!

One of my favorite memories about going over to my best friends house, is that they had a candy dish.  Her Mom ALWAYS had a little something in it. ALWAYS. Not once do I remember it being empty. Also... I was always welcomed to have a piece or two.  There was something about that Candy Dish and it always having a little something for sharing that stuck to me.  I carried the memories into my own home and have always had a Candy Dish available for anyone to have a piece of heaven to devour. My girls grew up not necessarily craving candy as it was something always available.

Candy Dishes.  They say WELCOME! ENJOY! & FEEL COMFORT.  I rarely see them anymore.  Except at my house... and my dear best friends Mom's house♥

I hope to carry this tradition as long as I have a home and a Candy Dish to fill.